On Hitting & Running

The Cowardly Lion.

I was thirteen when I committed my one and only hit-and-run. It was at the bat mitzvah of my eventual best friend, in a room surrounded by stain glass windows, sometime between the candle-lighting ceremony and dance party. I -- dressed in a black, crushed velvet, knee-length dress -- found myself recklessly playing pool with a bunch of 13-year-old boys I didn't know. As it goes when you're shy/nervous/excited/thirteen, I held the pool stick like a baseball bat to show off, and, all of a sudden, the ball flew through a (non-stain glass) window out of everyone's sight, inches from the face of the cutest boy in the room. Two seconds later, I fled the scene ... in tears ... to my parent's doorstep. Enjoy!

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On Empty Nest Syndrome

Our Circle of Life.

In some ways, we all confront our “empty nests” when faced with loss of people, routine, familiarity, and anything that provides our life with its consistent sense of balance. As we falter between conversance and the unacquainted, we rediscover new versions of ourselves – and the variety of worlds within which these selves (newly) exist – while lamenting the loss of what was. Enjoy!

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On Intentional Typos

Soulmate Wanted!

In response to a single girlfriend's plea for help, I willingly volunteered my creative services to help "spice up" her online dating profile. On a committed Friday night, we pursued fellow profilers to determine which catchphrases actually caught us, and which ones - alternately - put us to sleep, in the virtual dating world. Five-foot-two became a generous five-foot-four (in heels, of course), and priorities (in life) shifted from family and friendship to embracing the world through the lenses of literary geniuses and parental figures alike. Before parting ways that evening, I gave her a required reading list (from Eggers to Tolstoy) to prepare her for the myriad of dates that would surely come her way, and even agreed to discuss them with her in advance. Enjoy!

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On Social Etiquette

Dear Abby...

While most decisions come naturally to us, every once in a while we tap into powers-that-be -- opinionated parents, significant others, roommates, and best friends -- to play devil's advocate, contribute their own two cents, and shed light on an otherwise dimly lit situation. The pros and cons of breaking confidences are weighed against lifelong moral values while semi-objective participants attempt to make complicated situations appear simple. Enjoy!

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On Settling for Second Best

When Timing Isn't Everything.

After a consistent series of dead-end dates -- blind dates, online dates, dates-with-your-best-friend, dates-with-the-child-of-your-mother's-cousin's-neighbor -- it's easy to settle for second best. Friday Night Lights with homemade popcorn in place of bar crawls seeking singles half your age, followed by Sunday morning brunch lines passed amidst inside jokes and hand-holding oblivion, seems -- at a certain point -- well worth the trade-off. Until you catch a glimpse of the couple two tables down, radiating the real deal, unconcerned with the compromised couples around them, and to their own pasts, where (very likely) they, too, once admired this very fantasy from afar. Enjoy!

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On Admiring Vegetarians

And Marveling the Possibilities.

An avid (carnivorous-eating) household cook, I find myself squeamish around uncooked meat. As a result, my meals typically resemble those of the vegetarian, allowing me to combine my semi-health-conscious palate with my admiration for the herbivore's delight. Until, of course, my brain and stomach cry out for bacon cheeseburgers infused with chicken nuggets and Italian sausage, and I realize my relationship to plant-oriented dietary restrictions is merely an Omnivore's Dilemma. Enjoy!

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On Reese's Cups Snail Mail

Going the Distance.

Perhaps part of the tears associated with parting geographical ways (friendships and lovers, alike) is an implied understanding that the relationship will forever be altered. Aside from family obligations to purchase the bi-annual plane tickets, log onto skype on a regular basis, and send snail mail in even the most mundane capacities, (most) relationships really are contingent on proximity and convenience. But whether they weather the storm of time and distance, appreciating them for what they were - when they were - is as significant as letting them go later on. Enjoy!

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