On a Night to Remember

In New York City.

Usually it happens in the summer, when that street you're overly-acquainted with is unusually deserted, a handful of stars are actually visible, and the moon may or may not be full but you tell yourself it is anyway. Other times, it happens right after a snow storm when the ground is untouched by sleeping children and you make eye contact with a passerby as a form of tacit acknowledgment that this is the first moment of winter. Or maybe it's during your walk home from Lincoln Center when the breeze from the Hudson makes comforting promises of what lies ahead. It's called the perfect night and, while they are few and far between, they are almost always unmissable. Enjoy.

On Required Family Dinners

And All Those Other Silly Rules.

While I certainly wasn't a problem child, I can definitely relate to the mountain of restrictions: only one television show per week (General Hospital starting at age 8); required family meals (hungry or not); no boyfriends until age 16 (totally unfair); good grades (or else). Some rules were followed more begrudgingly than others but, alas, I make no complaints today. If not for these rules, my DVR would be for naught (Luke and Laura 4EVA!). Enjoy.

On Decisions We Almost Made

And Our Lives That Never Happened.

The possibilities in life are endless and when we make choices every day - about what time to wake up, whether to stand or sit on the subway, to call our boss/old friend/grandmother, to pick up an unlucky penny, to quit our jobs, to hold hands, to not hold hands, to look both ways, to laugh at a bad joke, to think happy thoughts, to stay up past our bedtimes, to drink chocolate milk instead of tea - those endless possibilities become enveloped in a single moment. I wonder, though, if we are closing the door to our lives that might have been or simply pulling down the shades so we don't get distracted by what's happening on the other side. If it's the latter, I take extra chocolate in my milk and thoroughly enjoy being unemployed. Enjoy!

On Sex and the (International) City

Behind the Scenes in Greenpoint, Brooklyn.

Don't it seem that all paths tend to lead back to the big B.K.? Only this time, us natives will forgive the intrusion because who can resist SJP's impenetrable taste in men and over-priced, blister-inducing, trademark stilettos (in spite of her measly writer's salary) no matter how many wrinkles she accumulates? Here's one professor's run-in with the world of Mr. Big after half-jokingly responding to a casting call for the much-anticipated SATC2. Turns out, Brooklyn ain't so sexy in the city, after all. Enjoy.

On the Great Lengths of Curiosity

When Relentlessness Pays (Off).

Several summers ago, my friend and I happened upon an abandoned museum in the Catskill mountains, filled to the brim with dusty relics of past lives. Photo albums of black and white photographs no larger than single thumbnails, of children frolicking in the snow, of farmers working tirelessly in the summer heat, of women in turtleneck blouses sitting perfectly upright as if yoga was a thing of their past. We devoured the place, running fingertips across dusty surfaces while making up stories to match the faceless objects: wheelchairs reminiscent of fireside chats, aged maps resembling childhood treasure islands, wooden boxes with carved messages to the "angels above." I'll never forget that warm summer day, in part, because of the abundance of mystery that encompassed so many people's histories confined to a single moment in a small, deserted room that seemed only meant for us. And, if given the chance to know who those people were and what those things meant to them, I'm not sure I would seize that opportunity, especially if it meant changing the way I remember my own past. Enjoy.

On Words of Wisdom

Does Grandma Really Know Best?

All signs point to yes, definitely. Turns out experience does wonders for both your complexion and sense of self. Which means next time you pick up the phone for some advice on what's-his/her-name or that crappy-work-situation, think twice about whose number you really should be dialing. Enjoy.

On Explaining the Unexplainable

In Less Than Two Paragraphs.

Trying to sum up how I knew I would feel watching my baby brother walk down the (graduation) aisle last weekend in a card (that so perfectly yet un-creatively accomplished this task for me) seemed impossible. This was, in part, because moments like these are hard to sum up in less than two paragraphs. And, also, I imagined that it wouldn't be until thirty years from now (if he followed my advice and saved all celebratory cards / post-its / occasional-confrontation-via-handwritten-notes from family) would he truly appreciate what that moment meant for the people who so proudly watch him creep slowly into adulthood. In the end, I made an honest attempt that I believe (and hope) affected him in the ways they are able to, given the circumstances of that moment. And, if not, I can always try again in thirty years. Enjoy.

On Unlikely Friends

Friend or Foe, or Both?

We've all had at least one in our lives: friend-turned-enemy who, upon running into, we make sure to look the other way in the hallways/on the street/on the walls of facebook. (Well, maybe not then.) Whether the breakup was tearful and emotional, tempestuous and mean, or simply a matter of time, it turns out the benefits far exceed the fleeting friendship. Enjoy.

On Hindsight: Always 20 20.

Think First, Then Act.

The downside of hindsight being twenty twenty is that we have to wait for the wisdom to shed its true colors and, until it does, we're seduced by alternate versions of the world around us. Or so it went for this guy, who didn't know what he had until it was too late. (And so it goes.) Enjoy.

On Fidelity: Nature Versus Nurture

Maybe He's Born With It.

Freud might have chalked up jealousy or flirtation as a consequence of the Oedipus Complex but research suggests we might be predisposed to commitment (or lack thereof) when we're born. Either way, the implications for relationship improvement are vast, especially in a society in which divorce rate surpasses marriage success rate (and you don't even want to know the prospects for early 20-somethings). Enjoy.

On Unforgiving Names

A Topic I Know a Lil' Something About.

I'm an Einstein and so one might call me a 'genius' on this subject. There isn't a joke I (or any of my siblings, parents, cousins, aunts and grandparents) haven't heard. (Yes, we are geniuses. Yes, physics is our favorite subject. Yes, we will name our children Albert no matter the sex.) As I get older, more people remark on the magnitude of my name with something like, "what a name to grow up with!" (insert overly-enthusiastic grin) but until you have one of your own unforgiving names, you don't realize how often your name is shared for the first time on a daily basis. Sometimes, even Einsteins want to hide behind a mask of anonymity on, say, a line at the post office, a DMV misunderstanding, a doctor's visit where claim forms await, the bookstore mailing list, the volunteer group, the contract to sign, change of address, credit and debit cards (on avg, at least once per day), banks, work emails, introductions, UPS deliveries, telephone identification verifications (need a balance? order a gift? find out why your 90-day prescription is late? phone bill screwed up? how 'bout cable?) And yet, in spite of the incessant indulgence of unoriginal Einstein banter, I can't think of a better person to be (un)related to. So, thanks great-great-great grandpa, we all owe you one. Enjoy.

On Happiness: Fleeting or Forever?

Or Something In Between.


If it's not one thing, it's another. We are constantly reminded of the uphill consequences of our decisions: the credit card payments that accompany a would-be exciting purchase; the extra pounds imposed by that (small) piece of chocolate cupcake with sprinkles; the paranoia associated with long distance relationships; the long work hours; the graduate school loans. Does it ever end? The simple answer is yes. The long answer is it's ultimately up to us to block out the rest of the world's need to constantly remind us of life's short-comings and hold onto the joy of the simple moments: the anticipation of wearing your new, over-priced eye shadow; the richness of the chocolate balanced by the butterscotch icing; the phone calls in the middle of the night. And in doing so, remember that happiness is both fleeting and forever and everything in between. Enjoy.

On Nostalgia for the Good Ol' Paper Organizer

Planners, Address Books, and Calendars No More.

There are politics to everything, including how we choose to organize our lives. First, there are the "paper-planner people," like myself. We've tried (relentlessly) to establish a rapport with the palm pilot (back in the day) but no matter how hard we tried, even the "on" button felt like an obligation. And so, much to our dismay, we settled on the five-pound, 4x6 alternative, in spite of the unfortunate cost-benefit analysis that insisted we try just a little harder. Then there are the "i-folks" (i-phone, i-pad, i-whatever else, oh my) who are hipper than the "paper people" and if picked for a pack of (virtual) volleyball in gym class would surely be top choice. And then, finally, there are the "nostalgics," who join the i-folks but with regret for what they must give up. To them, I say The grass is always greener on the other side of the (virtual) net; when you're ready for a break, let us know and we'll pencil you in. Enjoy.

On the Necessity of the Morning Joe

How One Woman's Early Morning Mistake Helped Her See the World Differently.

Dedicated to those of you who can't function without that first cup, this story gives new meaning to the phrase "wake up and smell the coffee." And while I wouldn't recommend trying this at home, I'm always inspired by the discovery of new lenses through which to see the world. Enjoy.

On (the Most) Complicated Relationships

Read This.


Open adoptions entail a relationship with both the adopted parents and birth mother. Here's one woman's story on how she copes with her role (of birth parent) in a relationship that both breaks her heart and makes complete sense. This article should not go unread, and the author's willingness to share her story with us acknowledged. Enjoy.

On Sensitivity in a Bottle

What's Love Got To Do With It?


Apparently, not much. To denounce this finding or not to denounce this finding and then secretly stock up; that 'tis the question. If anyone wants in on the order, contact me directly. Enjoy.

On Extramarital Affairs (w/Norman Mailer)

Loved and Lost? Or Not at All?

Depends who you ask. And while I don't have an answer, myself, I do think this is an interesting perspective from "the other woman." Some of us know her as our friend, or as our enemy, or even as ourselves, and occasionally as a combo of these options, which explains why our sympathy for and/or animosity towards her varies depending on the time of day. Enjoy.

On De-friending Your Parents, Indefinitely

And I Don't Mean on Facebook.

Understanding people is necessary to get by (happily? minimally?) on a daily basis. But what about understanding our parents? You know, those people who (likely) taught us how to walk and talk, bundle up in cold weather, wear helmets on bikes, and who might have even had a life before us (I know, hard to believe; see photo to the right). Here's an interesting discussion of a rare but unimaginable tragedy for those folks who raised us. Even though the topic of discussion is one you might have never thought about, it still provides some intangible insight. Hope you enjoy.

On Chimps Pimpin’ Out

Chimps are Like People in More Ways Than We Realized (Hint: Foreplay Ways).

Who doesn’t love an article on sex? Even if the subject matter isn’t quite humans, our linked ancestry makes this one a worthwhile read. Plus, you’ll never believe what forms of foreplay never quite made it to our species. Enjoy.

On Real World White House

Once You Start Reading, You Won’t Be Able to Look Away.

For the subway riders, print and enjoy. For the rest of you non-New Yorkers, this article is like an episode of Jersey Shore, only better. Once you sit down for only a minute because, hey, even your nerdy graduate school professors are making references you don't quite understand and you just gotta see what all the fuss is about, you can’t help but be engrossed. (Did you know that Michelle Obama sets her admins up on dates?) Ok, get started.

On Nightmares that Plague Us

Waking Life Versus Dream Life: Sometimes the Difference Makes No Difference.

Every few months my dreams, too, are haunted by my past: To Mr. Cohen, I'm sorry I almost failed history in high school but please stop giving me exams I forgot to come to class for. It's the same every time and while I never actually end up taking the exam, I'm flooded by the same anxiety from my waking life nearly fifteen years ago. Wasn't getting through high school enough? Enjoy.

On Summer Romance

If Danny and Sandy can do it, why can't we all?


Because life doesn't work like that. Perhaps all those summer vacations in which we were falsely introduced to the adult melodrama of romance through incessant reruns of Grease, we should have been watching The Big Chill or, better yet, About Last Night, in which the realities of relationships come hard and fast with Rob Lowe's pretty blue eyes to soften the blow. On the other hand, a lil' summer romance never ruined anyone's life, permanently anyway. (And, ladies, if you haven't seen Ab Last Night, it's time to update your netflix instant play a.s.a.p.) Enjoy.