On the Hottest Guy in Town

The Year of Magical (Unrealistic) Thinking.

We have a choice - in life - to see ourselves as we really are, and to accept that self or, alternately, look the other way. The former option (acceptance, that is) seems to be the more fulfilling and less grievous path down which we cross our slowing metabolism with guiltless chocolate-covered dessert, take sick days without symptoms or hesitation, and flirt effortlessly with the second hottest guy on okcupid (rather than the first) because life actually is as we know it. Enjoy!

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On Free Will

To Choose or (Not) to Choose...

When you woke up this morning, brushed your teeth, hopped on the subway/bicycle/sidewalkcrack, and opened this blog, were you completely morally responsible for the choices that brought you to this moment? Or, rather, would your exact same morning have happened in an alternate universe where the world was recreated (from scratch) up until this very morning again? And so the debate about free will goes: determinism argues that events lead to other events and, thus, human choice is an illusion; free will claims that particles interacting with each other cause change and, well, all the angst/excitement/fear/passion for the unknown isn't totally for nothing. So, my blog-reading colleagues/peers/enemies/andfriends, are you reading this by choice or by chance? Enjoy!

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On Country Living

Real Simple(r).

A city girl to the core, my fantasies of country living include traces of summers in the Catskills (hand-picked bouquets) and sleep-away camp favorites (s'mores & campfires), as farmer's market collectibles (berries, jams, & pastel-colored eggs) pile upon an unfinished barn wood table. Broken down, baby blue Volvos decorate the drive to the local library, as birds chirp fairytale classics high above. Enjoy.

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On Break-Up Loyalties

Lovers, Families, and Friends; In That Order.

Family and friendship loyalties shine brightest during relationship break-ups, and typically lie within the eyes of the break-up beholders. Hours, months - and even years - of shared meals and secrets, email exchanges and g-chats, family visits and vacations, relationship advice and commiseration, are thrown out the window the day paths are divided and loyalties realigned, making the already impossible break-up that much more painful. Enjoy!

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On March 26, 1911

The 100th Anniversary.

I work across the street from the Brown Building-now the home of New York University's biology and chemistry labs-where the streets are beginning to fill up with (thousands of) New Yorkers. Today marks the 100th anniversary of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire, during which 146 garment workers (mostly young immigrant women) died tragically by jumping to their deaths or becoming trapped inside. The fire lasted a mere thirty minutes yet long enough to draw national attention to fire safety code laws and conditions of the working poor. Only in New York can I relocate my lunch date from the benches of Washington Square Park to participate in a commemorative ceremony acknowledging a historic tragedy at a moment's notice. Enjoy!

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On a People of Few Words

I Tweet Therefore I am.

Words transform our screens.
Twitter anniversary;
Your turn -- haiku here.

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On Veggie Burgers w/ Fries

And a Side of Silence.

Gone are the days when dining out with friends revolved around shared appetizers, a bottle of wine, and gossipy conversation, as we strain to hear work-week catch up and dating/sibling/subway war stories over the unconstrained volume of chattering fellow patrons and unwarranted bartender playlists. Our sore throats and wallets result in unfulfilled vows to commune around potluck(y) kitchen tables - at a later date - while noise commiseration trickles into post-dinner emails/twitter/gchats and recipes are exchanged in silence. Enjoy!

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On Phone-Tastic Communication

{{{{hug}}}}

I recently (and quite spontaneously) ... (and not so begrudgingly) ... exchanged my 1990's Motorola look-alike for an up-to-date, fancy schmancy, internet-savy i-phone 4, after a week away in the wild, wild west (aka Colorado) during which I was entirely dependent on my co-traveler's Verizon droid. [Smart-Phones-Where-Have-You-Been-All-My-Life?] In spite of a year's worth of blog trash talk about how technology is ruining intimacy and contemplative opportunity, I marched proudly into the AT&T store within 24-hours of returning to Kings County soil - without hesitation or peer consultation - and requested an upgrade (please) as the euphoria of the long-overdue technological enhancement took over. As a new, proud, smart(er) phone-owner, who (in an instant) joined the ranks of email-checking, app-uploading, relationship-destroying, texting connoisseurs, I respond to this New York Times post with embrace for all that requires voiceless and soundless communication and wonder aloud which readers are ready for a scrabble dual. (Text me; game on.) Enjoy!

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On Long Distance Relationships

P.S. I Miss You.

When faced with the unfathomable possibility that soul-mates come along once in a blue moon, the appeal of pursuing a long distance relationship increases tenfold. Spontaneous (love) sick days on lazy, rainy Wednesday mornings are forfeited for airfare and skype dates, as the emotional intensity of reunions and departures are weighed against the emotional monotony of reheated leftovers and unkempt piles of laundry. Enjoy!

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On Bridges Over Troubled Water

Passage Over Obstacles.

The fictional Russian hero contemplates a turning point in his life as he strolls across the Palace Bridge in St. Petersburg before making a life-altering decision. The European tourist flashes photos of the Tower Bridge in London after a long afternoon in the local pub. And the native New Yorker jogs across the Brooklyn Bridge in New York City en route to his favorite dim sum takeout on Canal Street, where he'll savor the unique combination of salty and sweet while remembering his first taste as a child those many years ago. Enjoy!

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On Domesticated Relationships

Friend or Foe?

The divide between those who set place mats at the Passover/Easter dinner table for their cat/dog/hamster/iguana and those who set animal traps is quite clear from the moment the anti-guest steps into the pet owner's foyer. Cowering at the mere thought of greetings that entail a bark, a lick, and a paw, the two companions are forced to find common ground elsewhere while stifling judgment about their opponent's opposing stance. Enjoy!

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On Grumpy Old Men

Cute as a Button, or Not.

It's easy to forget about the life that existed before the frail old man came hobbling down the street, as we distract easily by his wrinkly skin and struggling steps rather than the wisdom of his eighty plus years. And yet it's worth reminding ourselves of our own surprise each time we glance in the mirror to discover a new line around our eyes, as we slowly grow unrecognizable to the person we're most familiar with beneath. Enjoy!

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On When Harry Met Sally

Cinematic Romance at its Best.

With the exception of when Harry met Sally - on a road trip after graduating from the University of Chicago - cinematic romance is typically misguiding and unrealistic. Boy typically meets girl (or vice versa), they quarrel or deceit - or become diagnosed with an irreversible moderately life-threatening disease (Natalie Portman, Anne Hathaway, Nicholas Cage, to name a few) - and eventually a kiss turns the beast into a real life prince - or cures the ailing & incredibly healthy-looking victim on his or her death bed - and all ends happily ever after. Alternately, Harry and Sally struggle through divorces, fake orgasms, lonely holidays, and game nights until their ability to communicate while recognizing the trials and tribulations of relationships reunites them in a scene worth memorizing, if only because its romantically familiar. Enjoy!

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On Family Reunions

Einsteins, Rockefellers, and Edisons.

There is a place where brilliant minds reunite. Remembrances of relativity are exchanged with monopolistic strategies, while great, great, great grandchildren frolic through tree-grown replicas of electromagnetic fields. Pin-the-tail-on-the-light-bulb rewards winners with sugar-coated photons while Atomic Vibrations (by the Beach Boys, of course) plays in the background. True Story; we have photos to prove it. Enjoy!

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On The Things We Collected

View Finder Aficiandos.

A few years ago during a family trip to one of the country's largest flea markets, my younger brother and I began our first collection of things. Immediately captivated by the gently worn, vintage images of childhood favorites - Cinderella, Ninja Turtles, Star Trek, Bert & Ernie, ET - we purchased our matching view finders with minimal negotiation, and kindly agreed to split the cost of as many slides as we could track down from the 6,000 vendors within our 8-hour time limit. As anticipatory fantasies of endless entertainment flashed before our eyes, we spent the better part of that evening trading the obvious - my Big Bird for his Tinker Bell, my Peter Pan for his Sleeping Beauty, my Michael Jackson repeat for his Pinocchio repeat - until we had maximized our negotiation value and got ready for bed. Years later, both equally unwilling to give up our Brimfield treasures, we frequently compare notes on how often we've removed our dusty view finders from the shelf (me: never; him: also never) while perusing a memorized list of potential future trades - an agreement we made that initial day upon purchase. Enjoy!

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On the Third Decade

A Suitcase Full of Wisdom.

Three decades in, lessons learned and memories reminisced seem to mark the changing of the guards in unexpected yet welcoming ways. The entree of pre-teenage-hood involves sobering contemplation about whether to abandon childhood habits like, say, sleeping with a baby blanket (named BooBoo). The teen years are filled with cat fights, slow dances, and video-game-obsessed-boyfriends whose time is arguably better spent in Mortal Combat(s). Our twenties (unknowningly) represent freedom from everything that comes after our twenties (weddings, breakups, babies, and bedtime before 11pm - woohoo!) while - at times, painfully - transitioning from the role of student to adult, as copies of A Quarter Life Crisis are exchanged at birthday parties and happy hours. Which brings us to our thirties, where birthday evites lamenting the time past are read by thirty-something friends and family who smile at the over-dramatic angst about a decade whose minutes and hours and days are actually as relaxing as they've ever been (...most of the time). Enjoy!

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On-Line Resentment

Knowing Where You Stand.

I confess sheepishly to decades of line-cutting from behind the anonymous tinted windows of my family's license-plated vehicle when merging onto the Brooklyn Bridge, but when it comes to eye contact and exchanging actual words with perfect strangers, I take my appropriate place at the back of the line. While I'd like to think it's a choice made entirely out of respect for my peers and a natural inclination for moral reasoning, the truth likely lies closer to my tendency to tacitly berate line-bullies within the anonymity of my own thoughts. Enjoy!

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On the Cost of Education

Private School Envy.

A product of the New York City public education system, a transfer from one unaffordable private undergraduate college to another, a full-time employee of the largest (& most expensive) university in lower Manhattan, and a three-time graduate program participant [psychology circa 2007; social work circa 2008; non-profit management circa 2009; graduation circa not soon enough], my experiences in the classroom have been mixed. To spend your future savings or not to spend your future homeownership/child'scollegeeducation/triparoundtheworld/lunchmoney is almost always the ultimate question, with a very unclear answer, in spite of the promise the diploma (& dollar signs) supposedly bring. Enjoy!

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On Paying It Forward

Mark It Down: April 28, 2011.

An international day devoted to random acts of kindness reminds us that we really are capable of selfless generosity, in spite of our innate tendency to liberally miscalculate our karma scorecards. The opportunities are endless and, more importantly, accessible: a cup of coffee for the subway hoverer, a mix tape for a newly-single girlfriend, a bouquet of flowers for your mother/brother/co-worker/teacher, a free car wash for [insert random car owner]. Fifty-one days (and counting) until April 28th, until which there is ample time to get in some practice. Enjoy!

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On a Scent of a Woman

Eau de la Femme.

For those who thought Scent of a Woman was merely an imdb favorite, guess again. Research confirms that at specific times of each month, right about when pheromone levels are skyrocketing, men are naturally more attracted to women (and vice versa) due to the subconscious inhalation of their chemical-induced scent, giving "strong chemistry" a whole new (& legitimate) meaning. In conclusion, next time you reach for the Chanel No. 5 to turn the heat up on your blind or premeditated date, check the calendar and plan accordingly. Enjoy!

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On Sugar and Spice...

And Girls Who Are Nice...

Gone are the days when bullying consisted merely of forcing your best friend to allow you to choose the prettiest barbies first because, hey, you're the guest and, thus, reserve certain rights. Except for those times when the barbie exchange is at your house and so you make the rules and - guess what - you still get the prettiest barbies first. Between public condemnation on facebook walls and tormenting texts behind closed doors, kids today are more likely to use barbies for voodoo dolls than fantasy dates at the local barbie ice cream parlor where the cool barbies hang out with the outcasts. Enjoy!

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On (Wo)Man's Best Friend

An Ever-Evolving Companionship.

My relationship to canis lupus familiari(s) began (in the 80's) with persistent indifference, mixed (in the 90's) with heated resistance, and ended (in the new millennium) with unconditional acceptance. Throughout my childhood, our household pets consisted of frightened stray cats and disinterested fish, both of whom proved to be peripheral affectionados, second fiddle to after school soap recaps and copious amounts of homework. Years later - in my teens - I was the un-adoring bystander to my overly-affectionate bff, cooing at any and all neighborhood hounds who, in my humble option, wasted precious valuable popcorn-purchasing time en route to matinee chic flicks. In my early twenties, after unexpectedly being mauled (okay-bitten) by a friend's unprovoked gigantic scary wolf demon dog (at his summer camp in Maine), I developed an uncontrollable fear for any fury mammal with four paws and a snout, darting for gutters and cowering behind strangers at any sound that resembled a ruff. And then this past Christmas, upon the suggestion of my roommate's boss's fiance('s cousin's mother's sister-in-law's hair dresser), we agreed to look after their Italian greyhound while they honeymooned in Hawaii, a creature I soon learned is the antithesis of the usual man's best friend. Invariably fragile and harsh on the eyes, Huckleberry was greeted (by our family members, brunch guests, and book club members alike) with repugnance and disdain, while, in contrast, I fell instantly in love. Much to my hugely-unanticipated surprise, I spent those two weeks defending Huck's honor, rushing home from work to shower him with affection, and deciding immediately that I would adopt my own canis lupus familiaris as soon as April showers brought May flowers (spring season; 2011!). I dedicate this entry to Huck, the (wo)man's best friend who changed my life, and whom I miss dearly. Now, whom to choose... Enjoy!

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On Single in New York

What Would Carrie Bradshaw Say?

The majority of my nearest and dearest gal pals are successful, beautiful, single, thirty-somethings residing in the County of Kings yet grateful if they bump heads with a lopsided toad. When asked to rack my brain for qualified single men worthy of husbandry, baby-daddy status, or multiple night stands, I find myself perusing a list of unemployed locals who still share electric toothbrushes and grocery lists with their mother hens. Where have all the good men gone (long time ago...)? Enjoy!

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