On Her One-Liners

Read 'Em Here.

Welcome to the Writer's Process Blog Tour Project.

One of my nearest and dearest "writer friends" (yet so much more) asked if I wanted to be included in a game of virtual "blog" tag, where we link out to blogs we adore (for me-hers, as I am an an avid addict of her one-liners which make me want to grow, engage, shout, and laugh out loud) while making a note or two on how and why we write what we do (see questions below if you're really curious).  I agreed, of course, to answer these four seemingly simple questions only to immediately feel regret and extreme self-consciousness about not having this thing called a "writing process" in the first place-and also boring you to pieces-because, hey, anyone can throw a three to five sentences onto a computer screen and call it talent.

Yet here goes...

What am I working on?
Constantly trying to capture the mundane yet magical moments in life through other people's words (aka posted articles and blogs; oh, here's another!) that I am confident my fellow online dabblers (you) are as aware of and mystified by as I am.

How does my work differ from others of its genre?
I'm not sure that it does but every once in awhile I'll admit to a rant about an etiquette that both my eighteen to twenty-five average daily readers (and myself) are most certainly guilty of while pretending to be as innocent as the next.  I feel so worried on those mornings that my posts will inevitably offend and so I'll email my aforementioned writer friend for validation and forgiveness, after which she always encourages my bravery to call people out since, after all, who doesn't put their best facebook profile pic forward?  And on those days I actually get between one and four "likes".  (Ah, the small pleasure in e-life!) 
 
Why do I write what I do?
Life-and the people in it-fascinate me as much as they do you, in particular how we connect through a visual stimulation that has nothing to do with knowing one another, seeing each other, tasting, smelling, touching or otherwise, and everything to do with our imaginations.
 
How does your writing process work?
With a whole lot of threats to quit writing altogether.

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On Small Gestures

Profound Meaning.

The stranger who let's us cut in front of them on line;
The twenty dollar bill we dropped and later found;
Coffee in bed for no reason;
Handmade birthday cards;
Unannounced visits;
Ice cream cones on weeknights;
Snail mail when you least expect;
Homemade tomato sauce (with ravioli);
Compliments on hair styles...(and parallel parking);
Random smiles on the street;
Waived fees;
Facebook "likes";
Facebook messages;
Flowers;
Genuine joy.

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On Googling WebMD

Bad Idea?

Meh, I think not.  Besides, how else would we decipher between the four  types of rare Amazonian gastrointestinal diseases we're sure we've contracted from the public bathroom three months ago at that random rest stop with the suspiciously outdated chip section?  Or the rash turned deadly hives turned actually deadly snake bite that guarantees us a mere three hours to live? Or how about that nagging toe pain, the one that should have disappeared two weeks ago as a casual plantar fasciitis - resolved with rest and better arch support - but definitely feels more like sesamoiditis and will very likely require steroid injections and surgery we can't afford.  Oh, and yes definitely sign us up for that weekly newsletter full of anxiety so we can torture ourselves with medical diagnoses that will deplete our lifespans by hours and days (if we're lucky) since, let's be honest, we probably won't want to live through them anyway considering what WebMD has in store for us.  Enjoy!

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On Our Shrink's Secrets

"Being" Friends.

Divulging our deepest, darkest secrets week after week, it's no wonder we fantasize about being friends with our shrinks.  With little information about their personal lives, it's not uncommon to contrive the who, what, where, and when of their joys, grievances, and favorite meals. The reality, however, is that we do this everyday with people we barely know, and 99% of the time we're way off, projecting our own values and insecurities onto familiar faces that have no genuine significance in the grander scheme of what we know to be true and not.  But hey, if we didn't, they'd be out of their jobs, and we'd all be at the mercy of our one-dimensional perspectives with little to no hope of growth and resolution.  Enjoy!

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On Saying Yes to the Dress

Priorities, Priorities.

While theoretically weddings are meant to be for the bride and groom (yeah, right!), the minute that rock hits your finger, the opinions come pouring in. Which is why, when I initially became engaged (circa October 2012), one of the first decisions we made as a couple was to list our top five unwavering values (as they related to our celebration) that, no matter what happened, we would not budge on at the likely chance we found ourselves seemingly overruled.  I can't take credit for this idea - I read it on a wedding blog - but the list came in handy once or twice over the planning year, as the guest list took to an overwhelming size (on the actual day, we only had our desired 85!) and all frills were eliminated (per my request) from nearly every pre-wedding extravaganza (including the dress!).  In the end, of course, my mother was right - a veil was that little extra something special - as she often is, and the ceremony (etc) was a clear representation of everyone involved, but most importantly (and especially) the two people who mattered most.  Enjoy!

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On My Grandmother's Roses

Now My Own.

While I can't claim to be the gardener of my mostly recently (purchased) abode, my husband does all the grunt work and I (gladly) share in the sun-basked glory.  With flowers blooming in every direction and the majority of (his) herbs blossoming with great success, it's the red roses we stumbled upon against the light-colored brick garage that remind me of my grandmother's garden.  These roses existed before we arrived-underground and in rare form only-as we watched and hoped at the first sign of spring that their multicolored petals would greet us with fertility and delight.  Once arrived, unexpected childhood flashes of buzzing bees and prickly thorns amidst Fisher Price toys and afternoon snacks in my grandmother's Brooklyn garden came pouring back.  And with each care and caress of our current garden, I'm reminded of a generational commitment to bring life to a backyard oasis reserved only for a select few.  Enjoy!

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On Bad Breakups

Making a List.

It's not above the majority of us to make a pros and cons list (written or otherwise) when seriously considering ending a relationship.  After all, it's hard enough to permanently cut someone out of our (romantic) lives so having actual evidence in the form of a clearly imbalanced, one-sided set of reasons for why failure is imminent can only help the challenging plight.  And then, in the expected moments of weakness when post-breakup roses appear and the world all of a sudden seems wrong and right simultaneously, the list resurfaces to remind us that, in fact, this lopsided decision was ultimately meant to be.  Enjoy!

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On Sickness and (In) Health

The Stark Reality.

We mumble those vows as if we're up for anything thrown our way but the reality of marriage is that it's long and arduous, or so they say.  Up for the task when our responsibilities are still fresh and light-and encompassing the well-being of a mere two beings-the journey feels optimistic and kind, conquerable by even the least diligent.  And yet we commit anyway, in hopes that we'll blink and 40 days will become 40 years, weeks...decades, and even the most challenging experiences worth every second.  Enjoy!  

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On Saying "It" First

"I...er...I...um"

Saying those three magic words first can fill the room with a thousand pound elephant, as we navigate unclear waters amidst very clear emotions. A moment that can only happen once between two people, the timing must be perfect, which means different strokes for different folks, from a balcony view overlooking the heart of Manhattan to a picnic blanket in a local park.  And once those words are exchanged, the relationship can advance, from a casual romance between once-strangers to a real-life fling with potential for permanence.  Enjoy! 

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On My First Road Trip

NYC to Denver, circa 1997.

I was nineteen when I went on my first road trip-to help my sister move from NYC to California during the summer between my freshman and sophomore year of college.  I was charged with making it to Denver and then hopping on a return flight back to Brooklyn while she drove south to visit an old boyfriend off the beaten path.  I'd never been to Colorado before, knew nothing about it, and spent the majority of highway time sulking like a sullen teenager.  Until the day we made it to the Rockies.  Between hazy details of modest hotel rooms and expected sisterly squabbles, we drove straight towards Estes Park and were immediately enamored by the vastness of the mountains and calmness of their neighboring rivers. For the first time in over a week, us city girls were speechless, finally finding commonality in the humbleness that rediscovering nature can occasional welcome.  Enjoy!

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On Memorable Advice from 1997

(Did you know...)

 (...this was an article... in the Chicago Tribune in 1997 and not a graduation speech?) 

Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young

By Mary Schmich

June 1, 1997

Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.

I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt. Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Copyright © 2014 Chicago Tribune Company, LLC

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On a Day Off Just Because...

Taking a stay-cation; this blog will return Monday, June 16th, 2014.

On Imminent Fatherhood

Oh, the Anticipation!

It's an odd feeling to not have met your actual baby before they are born but to be 100% confident that you will love them forever, and that they will equally love you back (or so you hope).  In anticipation of their adoration, ability to challenge, willingness to confide, and (potential adolescent) despise of you at various times over the course of multiple decades, you plan for every aspect of their arrival by choosing colors you think they'll like and names that might sound good on them. And without having ever seen their face or heard their voice, you also know it will be grand, with a partner-of-your-highest-choosing alongside for the ride, to anticipate, fear, and delight in what is supposedly one of the best things to happen in life.

Happy Father's Day to all, and especially to my roommate, AR.

(Also, ya'll should really read the attached article today-even the men will tear up.)

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On the Strangest Things

Closer Together.

It's the things you least expect that either bring you closer together or, alternately, drive you farther apart.  For my "roommate" and I, it was a glorious stomach flu of July 2009 that made us kindred spirits, germ-sharing and all, as we navigated (ahem) a combination of borderline pathetic patient stamina (her) and unbeatable bedside manners (him). For my folks, it was the heat of the late 60's combined with an impressive reference to classical music by my father, though if you ask them each directly you'll likely hear varying accounts of what actually happened. And, finally, my grand-folks found each other amidst a night of post-war dancing (my mom's parents) and romantic liaisons with siblings (my dad's) so you never really know how or why or when but just that it's true, and can happen anywhere and anytime.  Enjoy! 

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On Camp! Camp! Camp!

That Time of Year.

It's that time of year again when all us camp folks fondly remember the scent of the "camp trunk" being hauled out of the basement for a new adventure of friendship, romance, and waterfront.  Decorated with stickers from summers past, you hope to stumble upon a surprise token from the August before, like an old cabin schedule or arts & crafts pendant, that got lost in the unpacking-shuffle eight months earlier.  Let the packing begin, with shorts and socks neatly piled on opposite corners for a short but sweet allotment of time, as secret stashes of candy stuff between pj's and stationary, and nerves and excitement mix together throughout unfulfilled promises to write home everyday.  Enjoy!

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On Our Numbered Days

Obsession with Mortality.

Ever since childhood, if it made you cry - a novel, film, song, or anything of the sort - I was obsessed.  Preoccupied with mortality since a young age, I could probably name the top three causes of death since I was seven (1st-heart disease, 2nd- stroke, 3rd-respiratory disease) which is probably why I've never been afraid to fly and hardly look both ways when crossing.  And while I don't live every day as if it's my last (does anyone?) there have always been multiple times in the same week (for decades) where I feel grateful to be alive while simultaneously (strangely) fearful.  Enjoy!

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On Shaping Our Own Perceptions

Maintaining Control.

We believe what we want and want what we believe, interpreting identical situations differently from each other.  The sounds heard and sights seen are shaped by where we have been and who we are becoming, as we exchange personal accounts of the world around us in contradicting ways.  And yet it's other people's illuminations that widen our own perspectives, providing new meanings for what once were one-dimensional viewpoints.  Enjoy!

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On Inherited Guilt

Sleepless Nights.

For some, guilt rolls off the shoulders as if it never existed,  with semi-hurtful words and actions flying effortlessly through  email exchanges, texts, and the occasional phone call.  For others, sleep is lost, apologies overloaded, and unrealistic vows (to end world hunger) exchanged for an untainted conscience.  And the lengths we'll go end up tiring us out more than the guilt itself, filling hours with unrequited gestures in hopes that our sins will be forgiven and confidence restored, and broken bonds repaired in spite of the (minimal and fleeting) extent of the damage.  Enjoy! 

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On Whatever Works!

Healing Powers.


I have to confess that I only pray when the powers that be bring on a stomach ache or related ailment, including but not limited to cramps, nausea, and gastrointestinal discomfort.  While I don't believe in greater beings than you and me, I respect (and, in some cases, envy) people that do, and recognize that there's a time and place to reach outside our scientific grounding towards a larger force that might just pull through.  Because desperate times call for desperate measures, even non-believers can hope that we'll be proved wrong in times of need...and then some.  Enjoy!

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On SNAP (POST) {LIKE}

Other People's Possessions.

So quick to upload, we no longer take the time to question whose privacy and ownership we're actually infringing upon, including our own.  Glasses of wine exchanged, intimate vacation memories experienced, new babies created and born, we thrive on revealing who we are behind closed doors much more so than we crave the anonymity we were once afforded.  And in doing so, we have forgotten how to live in the moment and feel and notice and enjoy the world happening around us, replaced by the need to snap, post and like, none of which will ever be as gratifying as it once was. And yet... Enjoy!

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On Ten (Plus) Facts You Won't Believe

Did you know...?

1. If you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds just like Pac-Man.

2. Anne Frank, Martin Luther King Jr., and Barbara Walters were born in the same year, 1929.

3. The name Jessica was created by Shakespeare in the play Merchant of Venice.

The name Jessica was created by Shakespeare in the play Merchant of Venice.

See More : http://buzz-planet.com/77-facts-that-sound-like-huge-lies-but-are-actually-completely-true/

4. Saudi Arabia imports camels from Australia.

5. Hippo milk is pink.

6. Cookie Monster's real name is Sid.

7. Vending machines are twice as likely to kill you as a shark.

8. Home Alone was released closer to the moon landing that it was to today.

9. Betty White is actually older than sliced bread.

10. Will Smith is now older than Uncle Phil was in the beginning of The Fresh Prince.

1. If you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds just like Pac-Man.

See More : http://buzz-planet.com/77-facts-that-sound-like-huge-lies-but-are-actually-completely-true/

1. If you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds just like Pac-Man.

See More : http://buzz-planet.com/77-facts-that-sound-like-huge-lies-but-are-actually-completely-true/

f you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds just like Pac-Man.

See More : http://buzz-planet.com/77-facts-that-sound-like-huge-lies-but-are-actually-completely-true/

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