On Just Divorced

Straying Together.

Still (a couple) years away from walking down the aisle of life-long matrimony, I secretly wonder if this natural postponement will add healthy years to the other end of the commitment called marriage. All too aware that people and relationships evolve over time (and that 50% of marriages end in Divorce), my calculations – which include two households of happily married role models – (hopefully) favor the odds of the longevity of this impending union. And yet, not even probability can safe-proof the inevitably unforeseen developments that tacitly await (any of) us down the road, and so I anticipate marriage to require a combination of trust in instinctual dedication to ride the unanticipated waves with the semi-realistic fantasy that all romantic comedies end happily. Enjoy!

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On Visiting Chicago

Blog will resume after much-anticipated real-life Chicago pizza is devoured (and a wedding is attended) in a city not close enough to home. Happy weekend!

On the Catalano Generation

Freaks & Geeks.

We know who we are because we spent hours directing He-man and She-ra re-enactments (behind the secret walls of homemade couch forts) with play-dates (planned on whims during elementary school pick-ups) while sharing crustless, cinnamon toast slices (with the perfect balance of butter and sugar) two hours prior to dialing rotary phones to inquire if [insert play date's name] could stay for dinner. Jump to the mid-90's, during middle school years (formerly known as JHS), where a combination of old and new friends ruthlessly slammed each other (in 'slam books') only to pass much-friendlier, doodle-covered, hand-written notes between classes, in which lunchtime meetings were arranged at designated hallways coordinates, followed (a half hour later, at lunch) by debates about cutting school over pizza slices, turkey sandwiches and pork fried rice (without vegetables, of course) - all only costing one dollar. Our high school era was marked by flared jeans and the advent of brightly colored beepers, through which semi-legible (upside down numbered) messages were exchanged by beep-ees (identifiable only by pre-determined secret codes -- mine was "77," and would soon be incorporated into my very first AOL screenname, Sloan77c). Then in 1996, enter AOL. Eventually gone separate ways, college common rooms divided the 90210 with the Dawson diehards (Dawson 4 Life!), forcing us to make our first deliberate, life-defining decision that would stay with us forever, occasionally requiring a re-insertion of our stance in (recent) adulthood conversations that often include a forever-nostalgic shout out to Angela and Jordan (Catalano). Enjoy!

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On Literary Digressions

Detract-ions or Attract-ions?

Until now, I've always considered footnotes a digression from the path down which I am typically traveling with a focused and determined gaze. To break concentration from the intricate details of the likely tangled relationships of my latest fictional companions,* is to break stride towards the finish lines of other people's lives. Unless, of course, that path leads to hidden divulgences privy only to the dedicated few who take the time to wander down the road less traveled. Enjoy!

*I consider myself a literary devotee, as opposed to historical or non-fiction.

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On Addicted to Running

Healthy Kind O'Drugs.

I've spent my lifetime (thus far) watching athletes from the sidelines: first, soccer players as the (men's team) manager in high school and college; then, NYC marathoners as a local resident en route to Sunday brunch; and, most recently, baseball/soccer/and-even-football pro-athletes as a bleacher-filling tag-along to a City of dedicated sports fans. And then I struck a deal with my not-so-baby brother (surprise snail mail for every week consisting of well-rounded exercise routines) to enlist me as a player rather than a bystander, of which I'm going surprisingly strong (and feeling better than ever!), with my only regret being that we didn't strike this deal when I lived a mile closer to sea level. Enjoy!

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On the Wedding Section

Other People's Love Lives.

Fictional or otherwise, it's hard not to feel inspired by the success stories of other people's romantic endeavors, keeping the match.com matchers (dating websites), New York Times Sunday Style Section writers (Wedding Vows), and Hollywood filmmakers (romantic comedies) in business. Hoping for our own chance at stardom, we continuously go back for more, perhaps to remind ourselves that fairy tales can come true and it can happen to you. Enjoy!

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On Unconditional Love

The Dark Side of Our Moons.

While friend(ship)s are only moderately less immune to turning blind eyes on the less finer moment's in life, to brave the thick and thin with unflinching stamina and commitment is a prerequisite for family members and life-long partner(ship)s, (hopefully) demonstrated by the once-in-a-life-time pledge to stick around. To persevere is to succeed, and through the chance of one lifetime, the alternatives seem unworthy of consideration. Enjoy!

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On the Readers We Write For

Reciprocated or Not.

Since I started this blog nearly a year and a half ago, I am aware of only one actual reader (a fellow writer, in fact) who is so diligently commited to reading - and occasionally 'liking' - my posts on a (literally) daily basis, that I find myself motivated to write, even it's the last thing I want to do. Whether out of (friendship) obligation or otherwise, we share a not-so-tacit understanding that we are each other's most dedicated (literary) fans and, if not in this blog, similar words would likely fill up frequent email exchanges between us, and sometimes still do. And yet for the rest of the Readers For Whom We (both) Write - our family, significant others, acquaintances, and (with moderate ultimacy) actual strangers - knowing they're out there is inspiring enough, for the (unanticipated) virtual comments, (unexpected) references over dinner conversation, and (surprise) gchats from long, lost friends. Enjoy!

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On Monkeys in the Middle

Minding Our Own.

Minding our own business(es) can often take the form of semi-probing inquiries, unsolicited opinions, and meddling in muddled situations, with noses that typically belong elsewhere. And yet keeping our extremities to ourselves is as promising as unfavorable annual resolutions, enduring under pressure until we crave to what we can't have. Enjoy!

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On Instant Gratification

Postponing Satiation.

Having access to the whole wide world (web) at a moment's notice tends to dull the gratification experienced after postponement of nagging (unanswerable) questions, songs on the tips of (insatiable) tongues, gentlemen bets between (close) friends, and butterfly-inducing (first/second/third) date follow-ups. Enjoy!

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On Seeking Self-Awareness

When He/She/(and/You) Are Just Not That Into You.

It’s often through the lens of other people’s problems - fictional or otherwise - that we’re actually able to recognize the tell-tale signs of disaster, disinterest or disdain, in spite of our own glaring sirens urging us to walk (or run!) in the opposite direction. Perhaps we can blame the fogginess of our non-alcoholic goggles, or the misleading brightness of the grass always greener on the other side, or even our overly-simplistic (yet persistent) sense of self-denial, preventing us from acknowledging the consequences that will inevitably require subsequent action, leading us towards the dreaded (but temporary) patch of colorless lawn. Enjoy!

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On the Immorality of Immortality

Careful What We Wish For.

We pray to gods we don’t believe in and make promises we can’t keep in hopes of defying the one guarantee in life we all have in common: immortality. And yet the repercussions of such a universe – an eternity of heartbreak, irreparable regrets, and unrequited hopes and dreams - would haunt us throughout our waking lives, as we forgot to smell the morning coffee, marvel over kindnesses of strangers, or take solace in our one chance to get it right. Enjoy!

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On Facebook Status Updates

Newsfeed or Snooze-feed?

Having recently relocated across the country – way too far from family and friends - I anticipated being glued to the facebook newsfeed, finding solace in maintaining a constant awareness of other people’s breakfast cereals, engagement announcements, and (for those to whom this applies) not-so-newborn babies’ first words. And yet with an actual job that prohibits me (in a good way) from perusing the list of usual suspects, followed by early-evening Skype dates with my sibling and ‘rents, I find myself questioning what facebook updates really have to offer. Until, of course, infants’ chubby cheeks (of which there are many) entice me to send virtual squeezes, and the idea of actual phone calls (the horror!) drives me to write sweet nothings on east-coast-best-friends’ facebook walls, followed by one-liner emails with links to my most recent Anthropologie purchase (Whatdaya think?!) and inquiries about their latest relationship/graduateschool/weddinguest saga, as if to maintain normalcy even from afar. Snail mail, anyone? Enjoy!

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On No Item Left Behind

Out with the Old.

It's hard not to take personally the occasional (or numerous, depending on the situation) reminders of current-significant-other's relationships past. Mutually purchased artwork placed strategically on bedroom walls combined with silverware once used to feed the same ritualistic Sunday night spaghetti-with-vodka-sauce into the likely-ungrateful mouth of the predecessor you'd love (him/her) to forget, feels like a betrayal of the present mind and culinary loyalties, with one foot still covered in the tomato paste used to say their (semi-final) goodbyes. And yet... Enjoy!

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On Saving Faith

And Maintaining Patience.

If Dr. Carter (ER) or Dr. Grey (Grey’s Anatomy) insisted on performing my emergency appendectomy, I’d probably be too distracted by their charismatic bedside manners to object to their fictional expertise. Week after week, I root for the patients of Seattle Grace (the hospital in Grey’s Anatomy) and relay details of the latest break-through procedure to my medical-student-sister (over occasional family meals and holiday reunions), as she graciously semi-indulges the medical show façade of realism. Enjoy!

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On Daring the Diary

Careful What You Read For.

We write at our owns risk because, chances are, when faced with the moral dilemma to break open the lock into someone else's soul, the majority of us would, in fact, hesitate. Whether we actually wedge the crowbar into the hole that divides the virtuous from the virtually sinful depends on our mood, stamina, and belief in life-long karma. Enjoy!

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On Laughing Out Loud

OMG, LOL, SOS!

During mass-family email and text exchanges of hilarious and often inappropriate must-see's, nothing beats the succinct yet direct response from my (semi-)computer-savy mother - LOL. Often torn between disappointment over her unnecessary brevity and gratification over her undeniable hipness, I often COL (Chuckle Out Loud) at the thought of her 'control button' extravaganza ("control"-L-O-L) to make a point well-taken. Enjoy!

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On Same Differences

Up Close & Personal.

In the occasional yet rare moments when we find ourselves - or others - unable to hide inescapable tragedies behind the privacy of our bedroom doors, stories are exchanged, shoulders are cried upon, and insight is gained into the up close & personal experiences that differentiate yet simultaneously link our lives with those of the people around us. Changed by the realization that we're both different and the same, separate and apart, vulnerable and invincible, the lens through which we view other people's tragedies is irreversibly changed. Enjoy!

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On Collecting Clues

To Other People's Lives.

For those of us who relish in acquiring details about the idiosyncratic characteristics of other people's personalities, scanning the bookshelves, coffee tables, freezers, and bathroom cabinets is a requirement when visiting new apartments for the first time. Tacit alliances are made with those who share specific culinary habits while unreliable conclusions are drawn about semi-perfect strangers. Enjoy!

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On Words with Strangers

Maintaining Anonymity.

Of my ten, currently ongoing, i-phone scrabble games (aka Words with Friends), three of them are words with strangers, including -- but not limited to -- said player named 'darktemptation.' (sealed with a prominent period at the end, so as not to be without distinction). None of the games have led to conversations on the sidelines (aka the chat feature) but with each "send" I press, I simultaneously fight the urge to take our relationships to the next level -- Where ya from? Great play! Did you ever consider 'Bright Illumination!' w/an excl pt instead? But as in most relationships (in life), it's hard to make the first move, and, as such, I'll continue fantasizing -- behind the anonymity of my screen -- about the questions I'm sure they're simultaneously resisting sending me, while playing my tiles and preparing my succinct yet informative responses (just in case). Enjoy!

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On Sibling-hood

Accepting Adulthood.

A lifetime of history written across the faces of our siblings, it's difficulty not to blur their three-through-sixteen-year-old selves into their adulthood accomplishments. Memories of breakfast-cereal-wars and cowboy-photo-shoots past accompany present-day milestones, as they waiver between the child they'll always be and the adult they're always becoming. Enjoy!

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