On 30-Minute Road Trips

Coney Island, Brooklyn (NY).

Growing up in the B.K. meant thirty-minute road trips on hot summer days to the Coney Island amusement park -- with parents, siblings and friends -- to enjoy Nathan's hot dogs, pink cotton candy, and endless hours on the Tea Cup ride. Until our sun-kissed skin required immediate relief in the salty Atlantic, and sand castles resurrected between grainy beach towels and rainbow unbrellas, where crowds admired the ocean view while sneaking peeks at the boardwalk carnies. Enjoy!

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On Being Romanced

Dinner Party Conversation.

You (hope you) know it's time to move on when your sparkling recollections of recent romance -- over dinner party conversations with wide-eyed girlfriends -- are brighter than the bubbly served during happy hour, yet barely last through the second course. Frivolity and compliments eventually lose their luster, as reliability and commitment (and humor!) become unwavering prerequisites for the rest of your lives together. Enjoy!

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On Thanksgiving Rituals

Family & (Childhood) Friends.

After a multi-year hiatus from childhood best friendships, newly instated Thanksgiving rituals reunite older versions of long ago companions (once attached at the hip), during which memories are ignited in the facial expressions and conversation that flows as effortlessly as once before. Brief moments of imaginary time travel dissipate the implausible lapse in years, as promises to stay in touch intermingle with present-day catch-up. Enjoy!

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On Home for the Holidays

Blogger returns to Brooklyn for the
holiday; blog will resume on Monday, November 28th,
2011. Happiest holidays to her readers!

On Guilty Pleasure...

Support Groups.

I used to justify my long list of television dedications to my well-practiced ability to multi-task: full-time job by day, graduate school by night, with gaps in between filled by family, friends, significant other, kick-boxing, book clubs, food coop shifts, and dining out at least four days per week. I'd confidently contribute my two cents - at dinner parties and water cooler conversations - about Don Draper's failed marriage (Mad Men); Chuck and Blaire's latest kiss (Gossip Girl); Meredith's tampering of the Alzheimer's trial (Grey's Anatomy); the recent development of pimp competition (Hung); Claire Danes at age 31 (Homeland; first season's currently airing on Showtime); how if I could have two mom's, Sally Fields would top my list (Brothers & Sisters); how Addison is so darn pretty (Private Practice); how I would choose Coach over Matt Sareson, but only by microscopic points (Friday Night Lights); how Hank Moody is also so darn pretty (Californication) and the incorporation of West Side Story songs keeps me coming back for more (Glee). But now, (living) in a city where the pace of life has slowed, textbooks have been replaced by an official diploma, and casual conversation is often dominated by sports and good weather, I tend to keep my opinions about Ben's upcoming debut (The Bachelor), Nicki's transformation (Big Love), Sookie's troublesome dilemma (True Blood), whether the dragons will dominate the world (Game of Thrones), and Laura Linney's most recent tragedy (The Big C) to myself. Enjoy!

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On Hitting & Running

The Cowardly Lion.

I was thirteen when I committed my one and only hit-and-run. It was at the bat mitzvah of my eventual best friend, in a room surrounded by stain glass windows, sometime between the candle-lighting ceremony and dance party. I -- dressed in a black, crushed velvet, knee-length dress -- found myself recklessly playing pool with a bunch of 13-year-old boys I didn't know. As it goes when you're shy/nervous/excited/thirteen, I held the pool stick like a baseball bat to show off, and, all of a sudden, the ball flew through a (non-stain glass) window out of everyone's sight, inches from the face of the cutest boy in the room. Two seconds later, I fled the scene ... in tears ... to my parent's doorstep. Enjoy!

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On Empty Nest Syndrome

Our Circle of Life.

In some ways, we all confront our “empty nests” when faced with loss of people, routine, familiarity, and anything that provides our life with its consistent sense of balance. As we falter between conversance and the unacquainted, we rediscover new versions of ourselves – and the variety of worlds within which these selves (newly) exist – while lamenting the loss of what was. Enjoy!

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On Intentional Typos

Soulmate Wanted!

In response to a single girlfriend's plea for help, I willingly volunteered my creative services to help "spice up" her online dating profile. On a committed Friday night, we pursued fellow profilers to determine which catchphrases actually caught us, and which ones - alternately - put us to sleep, in the virtual dating world. Five-foot-two became a generous five-foot-four (in heels, of course), and priorities (in life) shifted from family and friendship to embracing the world through the lenses of literary geniuses and parental figures alike. Before parting ways that evening, I gave her a required reading list (from Eggers to Tolstoy) to prepare her for the myriad of dates that would surely come her way, and even agreed to discuss them with her in advance. Enjoy!

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On Social Etiquette

Dear Abby...

While most decisions come naturally to us, every once in a while we tap into powers-that-be -- opinionated parents, significant others, roommates, and best friends -- to play devil's advocate, contribute their own two cents, and shed light on an otherwise dimly lit situation. The pros and cons of breaking confidences are weighed against lifelong moral values while semi-objective participants attempt to make complicated situations appear simple. Enjoy!

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On Settling for Second Best

When Timing Isn't Everything.

After a consistent series of dead-end dates -- blind dates, online dates, dates-with-your-best-friend, dates-with-the-child-of-your-mother's-cousin's-neighbor -- it's easy to settle for second best. Friday Night Lights with homemade popcorn in place of bar crawls seeking singles half your age, followed by Sunday morning brunch lines passed amidst inside jokes and hand-holding oblivion, seems -- at a certain point -- well worth the trade-off. Until you catch a glimpse of the couple two tables down, radiating the real deal, unconcerned with the compromised couples around them, and to their own pasts, where (very likely) they, too, once admired this very fantasy from afar. Enjoy!

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On Admiring Vegetarians

And Marveling the Possibilities.

An avid (carnivorous-eating) household cook, I find myself squeamish around uncooked meat. As a result, my meals typically resemble those of the vegetarian, allowing me to combine my semi-health-conscious palate with my admiration for the herbivore's delight. Until, of course, my brain and stomach cry out for bacon cheeseburgers infused with chicken nuggets and Italian sausage, and I realize my relationship to plant-oriented dietary restrictions is merely an Omnivore's Dilemma. Enjoy!

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On Reese's Cups Snail Mail

Going the Distance.

Perhaps part of the tears associated with parting geographical ways (friendships and lovers, alike) is an implied understanding that the relationship will forever be altered. Aside from family obligations to purchase the bi-annual plane tickets, log onto skype on a regular basis, and send snail mail in even the most mundane capacities, (most) relationships really are contingent on proximity and convenience. But whether they weather the storm of time and distance, appreciating them for what they were - when they were - is as significant as letting them go later on. Enjoy!

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On Cordial Relationships

Big City Small Talk.

Like most New Yorkers living in New York, I (used to) carefully choose which cordial relationships I planned to indulge in on a regular basis (office doormen - yes; fellow subway riders - no), especially given that around every corner and in not-so-dark shadows were eight million other people with whom to share the sidewalk. What non-New Yorkers characterize as "rudeness," us - natives - describe as "maintenance of privacy." Now, living several states away (in Denver, Colorado), where streets are significantly less crowded and bus drivers check in with their riders (via loud speaker) about the vehicle's temperature quality, I have to remind myself that cordial relationships are a given, privacy is easier to come by, and to look the other way is an act of defiance. Enjoy!

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On Mouthfuls of Romance

Making Chit Chat.

Nowadays we spend the majority of our pre-relationship courting stage(s) romancing our potential significant others via the written word - text, chat, email, facebook message - carefully selecting flirtatious one-liners to convey our savvy yet quirky personalities, denying at all costs that the thesaurus had anything to do with it. Until we're face-to-face, scrounging for five-letter words to maintain our facade of consistent witticism while hanging on to - and further scrutinizing - our i-date's ability to equally articulate. Enjoy!

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On Connecting the Dots

Advice from an i-Genius.

Since hindsight is twenty-twenty, we can only trust that with each graduate school program we invest in, each relationship we initiate, each road we cross without looking both ways, and each risk we calculate until we take, that the dots we're connecting will eventually take shape. Whether that shape resembles familiarity or otherwise is merely only one component of the leap required to put one foot in front of the other. Enjoy!

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On Starting from Scratch

The Learning Curve.

As the learning curve gets curvier with age, our instincts might encourage us to play it safe and run the other way. And yet to live in fear or seclusion would deprive us of life’s best kept secrets. Would-be marathon runners would never cross their finish lines. Black bean discriminators would never taste the savory flavors of all things hummus. And mathematically-wounded grade-school veterans would never realize the satisfaction (and confidence) associated with solving a perfectly harmless quadratic equation. Enjoy!

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On Psycho Therapy

The Modern Family.

Although easier to blame our troubles on everyone other than ourselves, a little introspection in the form of a journal entry, therapy session, blog posting, or happy hour cleanse does a mind, body and soul the occasional good. When all else fails, blame the ones who brought us here in the first place – our parents! – with decades of research suggesting this option is more than just an easy way out. Enjoy!

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On Moving Out

Jumping Around (Life).

Whether moving around the corner or across the ocean, there is a brief moment of symbolic recognition during which we realize the implications of our latest impending relocation. Memories of first dinner parties, (un)reliable landlords, breakups and make-ups, and impromptu movie nights with friends of friends (who, surprisingly, ended up together, albeit temporarily), remind us of the unforeseeable events of our next (geographical) endeavor, as new paint colors are carefully selected and coffee routes are recalculated...if only to try something new. Enjoy!

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On What Comes Next

A True (Love) Story.

If we’ve learned anything from other people’s love stories, it’s that it can happen anytime, anywhere. And yet we tend to fantasize for the narrative that makes us stand out from the rest – the story worthy of retelling our imaginary children and grandchildren, as if the details of a truly unbelievable fairytale would predict what comes next. But the truth is whether it happens at a New Year’s Eve party as the clock strikes midnight or during the office water cooler debate, happily-ever-after does not discriminate. Enjoy!

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