On Germaphobia Delight

The NYC Subway.

Of all the things I miss about NYC, the subway is the one I have the most love/hate relationship with.  A moderately anxious person with occasional germaphobic tendencies (on par with the average New Yorker, no doubt) but a knack and passion for the ultimate form of "people-watching" (often, in my case, a good, ol' stare), daily train rides to and from Manhattan required an engrossing novel and absolutely no food consumption.  To expose a mid-afternoon sandwich or a happy hour bag of nuts to the inevitable infestation of microbes and pathogens that could result in instant death (for real!) was simply not worth it.  But stick an early morning, well-insulated, turbo-sealed cup of caffeine in my hand and by the end of my 30-minute commute, I could rattle off which passengers had marital problems, recent promotions, and mother-issues just by looking at them.  Enjoy!

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On a Great Job

The Constant Search. 

Showing up for a job we truly love is a rare experience and one most of us hope to stumble upon throughout our long and complicated careers, during which alarm clocks induce excitement instead of dread, and 6am cups o' joe are simply the ignition we need to get started. Motivated by colleagues, by content, by satisfaction from a job well done means different things for different people, and taking the time to examine what that means in our small but significant lives is worth every hour of every day in the office, and then some.  Enjoy!

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On Ordering In

Take Out (the Stress).

The decision to order take out opens up an evening of nutritious variety in which any dish is possible and remains a short phone call away.  Flipping through tattered menus with cell phone in hand, the ease of having dinner prepared and delivered in under 45 minutes floats through the apartment hallways, immediately eliminating the stressful creativity of making ends meet with the withering vegetables aging in the under-appreciated fridge.  Cuisine in chosen, decisions are made and, less than an hour later, appetites are calmly satiated. Enjoy!   

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On a New Look

Making a Change.

I have the sudden urge to change something drastic, namely my hair color, reminiscent of the Halloween in high school when I spray painted my entire head black and everyone mistook my costume for Winona Ryder (a compliment, to say the least).  And yet I've got a wedding on the horizon and I already mistakenly chopped all my hair off too close to the date (no "up-do" for me!) in a moment of spontaneous haste.  But I know deep down that this (urge) too shall pass, alongside my long-time dabble with tattoos and piercings, neither of which lasted more than a few months, at best.  Enjoy!  

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On Memorial Weekend Weddings

Off to Maine to see two favorite friends take the matrimonial leap amidst a 3-day weekend of airplane rides and (other people's) birthday celebrations.  As such, this blog will resume on Tuesday, May 28th.  Enjoy and be safe!

On the Looking Glass

Conflicted Body Image.

Be it on the subway platform as the F train zooms by or in a restaurant window on our way to run a local errand, we all scan glimpses of our physical appearance to ensure we haven't aged exponentially or become unexpected disheveled since the last time we checked ten minutes ago.  A mixture of satisfaction and concern reflect back at us, as the usual, familiar face makes eye contact, seconds before returning to our original journey ahead. Enjoy!  

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On My Three Fan Letters

Dear...

It's true that both fan letters I wrote in 1985 (see blog bio) were responded to, and one even included an 8x10 black and white signed photograph of Better Midler singing my favorite song at the time (or so I pretended).  I kept that photo framed on my nightstand for the next year or so and haven't seen it since.  Fred Savage, on the other hand, clearly hired a publicist who mailed all his elementary school fans a series of pre-printed signed postcards that arrived nearly a year after I mailed him a gold necklace with a fuzzy heart sticker on the box.  Nevertheless, they wrote and I received, and from that moment on, I vowed to write to all the people who inspired me enough to put pen to paper.  And since I started this blog three years ago, that list has cautiously expanded (and includes Bill Murray, notorious for showing up at non-famous people's parties and band practices) but I've yet to hear anything back.  Enjoy!

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On Emergency Landings

Unexpected Bumps.

The delight of being seated in an emergency exit on a 4 (plus) hour flight is briefly interrupted by the flight attendant's inquiry about your ability to do the right thing during the worst case scenario.  Are you, in fact, courageous enough to facilitate an emergency landing in the event that the plane takes a nose dive for the wrong direction, and (BTW) everyone’s life on this airplane depends on this? The answer is probably no or, minimally, I have no freaking idea, but the lure of the 12-inch extra legroom brings out the hero in you in that particular moment, and you respond with a confident and borderline overly-excited Of course!, hoping for the best while easing back into your moderately upgraded accommodations.  Enjoy! 

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On Intellectual Connection

Beyond the Physical.

Amidst the myriad of ways we might romantically connect with others, intellectual connections seal the deal.  Familiarity with rare symphonies and references to Victorian novelists result in stomach-ridden butterflies indicating a lifetime of curiosity and possibility.  Mathematical equations are stripped down during flirtatious happy hours as passages from Beatnik prose are analyzed over brunch.  Enjoy!

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On the Now

Living in the Moment.

I'm constantly reminded to live in the moment and yet actually doing so is not such a simple task.  Most recently, my favorite yoga instructor (for his focus on practical - rather than spiritual - goals) began his class with a story about his brother who, he explained, spends way too much time dwelling on historically fraught relationships rather than experiencing the present.   He advised us (the class) to use the next hour to avoid distraction and live in the moment.  (I failed, btw, quite miserably.)  Then, on The Big C (fiction, I know, but nevertheless), Cathy Jameson (Laura Linney) attended a retreat hosted by a beautiful, bubbly cancer survivor (played by Susan Sarandon, of course) whose sole purpose was to teach these exhausted, worn out fellow survivors to see what's in front of them instead of behind.  Fiction, perhaps, but a message based on our tendency to ignore what's truly in front of us, a practice we could all probably benefit from if only for, well, a brief moment.  Enjoy!

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On Love at First

...Sight.

Entering the crowded room, you're slammed by an overwhelming desire to scream This is it! while scrutinizing the unfamiliar details of the stranger's exotic face.  As flashes of idealistic marital bliss distract from this onslaught of intense emotion --  fields of  poppies on summer picnics in the countryside, newborns with perfectly snow white skin, retirement parties with friends who have yet to exist -- you think This is the person I am going to marry.  Five minutes later, courage mustered, introductions are exchanged and life changed forever. Enjoy!

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On Social Media Anxiety

From the Author:

 Things You Never Stressed About Until You Joined... 

1) Pinterest: Color-coding closets; "plating" your meals; befriending a photographer to document your outfits.

2) Instagram: The appropriate level of nonchalance to feign in selfies; strategic lighting for downplaying acne.

3) Twitter: Subtweeting; memes; the subtle differen
ce between quote-tweeting and RT-ing; character counts; if you made a joke "too soon"...

4) Facebook: Aunt Judy judging your useless liberal arts major; frenemies judging the size of your engagement ring; ex-boyfriends judging your recent weight gain; "relationship status."

5) LinkedIn: Expanding your network; flirting with headhunters; “does this selfie make me look ‘professional’ or ‘slutty’?”

6) Spotify: How many times you replay the same song without seeming insane; how to deal with people ironically "liking" your Selena Gomez Facebook notifications.

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On Monomania

Def. A Pathological Focus.

It starts with one episode, sometimes two, and before you know it, the daylight hours spill over into evening and the clock strikes midnight and remnants of television-induced headaches creep into the crevices of your brain that, up until now, only had room for Jack Bauer's 24-Hour Mission. And the monomaniacal seclusion begins, first with season 1 followed by 2/3/4/5/6...until the series finale slams you against your Monday morning obligations, where coworkers inquire about your weekend and you waffle between admitting defeat by an unanticipated marathon or pretend to distracted by impending workweek obligations.  Enjoy!

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On Mother's Day

This blog will resume on Tuesday, May 14th after an east coast visit with friends, family, and a proper Brooklyn Botanical Gardens Mother's Day! 

On the Perfect Pants

An Impossible Task.

The quest for the perfect jeans can feel like a fruitless endeavor during which body image and confidence are thrown entirely into question, and laundromat routines impossibly reworked to integrate unrealistic expectations that will likely never stick.  And yet the credit card gets charged, dry cleaning vows made, and a relationship initiated that will inevitably end in heartbreak...and a useless, uncomfortable mismatched patch.  Enjoy!    

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On Being Scared

Spain, 2011.

We arrived at the Barcelona station around 10pm to catch the next train for Madrid when we quickly realized we were the only ones around.  The taxi driver offered to drive us to the nearest 24-hour computer cafe for a pretty price where we proceeded to email friends and family about our month long travels around Europe.  Until the creepy guys on the other side of the aisle started haggling us with questions and demands, eventually inviting the moderate interference of the security guard smoking cigarettes by the door.  Filled with youthful optimism, fear and fatigue, we made a b-line for the early bird train as soon as the clock struck six the next morning, and I haven't been back since.  Enjoy!

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On Grief

Different Stages.

Loss can be sudden and unexpected, blindsiding us from the least anticipated directions.  Or it can be long and drawn out, during which we may or may not find ourselves facing head on the emotions affiliated with acceptance and grief.  Either way, this roller coaster leads us to steady and turbulent moments of hope and sadness, inspiration and despair, and a strength we never would have otherwise known is possible.  Enjoy!

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On Mutual Romance

One-Sided Relationship.

Mutual romance is a significant key element to a relationship's success, in which both participants feel close to or equally as strong for each other.  It's the feelings that are never reciprocated, the friendships that maintain their platonic core, the Harrys and Sallys who don't make it to the New Year's party for that happily-ever-after epic kiss, when hearts get broken and sappy loves songs called upon for devastating comfort.  Hopefully and eventually those days are put behind us but, until then, bring on the heartbreak playlist.  Enjoy!   

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On Remembering Prom

I Asked Him.

I asked him and he said yes, even though he wasn't my boyfriend and everyone knew he was going to eventually ask me to prom himself.  But we were friends bordering on crush, and he was one of the nicest guys I knew back then, and we both agreed that the evening would be moderately memorable if we kept each other company on and off the dance floor.  So we went, took photos with friends, barely drank, slow danced, and by the end of the after-prom weekend at the Jersey Shore, I had moved on to my other crush from math class.  Enjoy! 

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On My Romance With Cooking

A Regular Chef.

Four years ago, the only things I knew how to cook were ravioli and eggs.  Today, my repertoire includes winter panzanella, butternut squash and sage lasagna, and spinach smoothies before 8am on a daily basis.  But the transition wasn't a quick one.  In 2008, I discovered the literally really simple "20-Minute Meals" in the back of Real Simple magazine and eventually accrued several years worth of check-out shifts at the Park Slope Food Coop, during which I handled multiple vegetables I'd never seen before including chard, parsnips, and spaghetti squash.  And so my love for cooking began as steps were added, ingredients tripled, and the results worth attempting again and again.  Enjoy!

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