On Brooklyn in Da' House

With a visit from a favorite (Brooklyn) friend, this blog will return on Tuesday, April 1st following a weekend filled with coffees on the porch, dinners at local restaurants, homemade crepes, girl talk, fireplaces, local theater, walks in the Gardens, soft blankets, and Colorado sunshine.

On My Love-Hate for Wes Anderson

Hate to Hate, Actually...

In another universe, I am confident that Wes Anderson and I are meant to be soul mate friends, lovers, and/or connoisseurs of all things symmetrically-shaped and saturated in a vintage, 1970s color palette.  But the love stops there, hard and fast, as I consistently fall asleep 20 minutes into his latest and greatest blockbuster wannabe, filled with jokes beyond my capacity to laugh and appreciate, surrounded by audiences raving over the ridiculousness of his artistry.  My first, second, and millionth impulse is who the @*() cares, as I hate to hate my aesthetically-pleasing-oriented hero, and would honestly rather be having dental work.  Enjoy!  

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On Overcoming Anxiety

The 9th Mile.

It was during the 9th mile of the (only) half marathon I've ever ran when the nausea started to creep in, and I knew I had a choice to make: to feel sick or not to feel sick.  An emetophobic since childhood, deciphering between anxiety and actual symptoms of the one illness I fear most is an all-too-familiar task and one that I've (mostly) come to master.  Four miles still ahead, I did what any anxiety-prone runner would do-turned up the volume on MJ's Man in the Mirror and focused my thoughts on brunch, beaches and anything but the stomach flu.  Enjoy!

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On the Secret to Relationship Success

Decades of Partnership.

As numerous friends navigate through, pick and choose, and (eventually) settle down with their lifelong partners on a seemingly monthly basis, (many of) our parents celebrate decades of committed marriages.  And so, as we make difficult (and exciting) decisions related to careers, relocations, and the imminent expansions of our own families (if that's our thang), a curiosity for the secret recipe seeps through each list of pros and cons as if there is actually an obvious solution for navigating these waters.  My guess is to each his own mixed in with a whole lot of communication, patience, foot rubs, and the occasional television marathon on Netflix.  Anything Else? (Enjoy!) 
 
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On Getting Engaged

Will You Marry Me?

For the sake of being a type-A planner, emailer, and organizer of all things big and small, having to coordinate a wedding proposal for my future life partner was a responsibility I was glad to have off my plate.  My own occasional public speaking anxieties aside, the stress of orchestrating surprise and romance simultaneously in a moment that should be memorized for eternity simply doesn't seem worth it.  And yet when my own marriage proposal actually did happen in October 2012, it was preceded by my own semi-tipsy dictation of what would be ideal to me - a casual night with dinner and wine in the comforts of our own home without this cliche and that - upon which, minutes later, an engagement ring appeared and I graciously accepted ... in my pajamas.  (It was perfect, and exactly what I would have planned had roles been reversed.)  Enjoy!
 
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On Staying at Arm's Length

Electronic Relationships.

These days, the majority of most important relational exchanges, from courting to breaking and making up (romantic or otherwise), happen without ever using our vocal chords.  Texts and emails are carefully crafted to convey distraught and delightful emotions simultaneously as we hide behind our electronic screens to avoid actually getting into the thick of it.  But the consequences are heightened, with letters and words being lost in translation, resolutions being delayed, and interpretations of these messages left largely at the mercy of when, where, and how the electronic delivery surfaced.  Enjoy!

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On Irresistible Quirks

Two Peas in a Pod.

She loves Cher. 
He loves lo-fi indie rock.

She loves tomato sauce.  
He loves olive oil.

She loves Grey's Anatomy.  
He loves football.

She loves dresses. 
He loves drums.

She loves purple.  
He loves lime green.

She loves gardens.   
He loves the woods.

She loves his quirks, 
and He loves hers.

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On Parental Wisdom

Mother Knows Best?

There's something about getting advice from our parents - right or wrong - that feels more solid in the moment than the buzz and chaos of the opinions around us.  Every decision made-from quitting jobs to solidifying dinner plans-the pros and cons are weighed but the answers don't always reveal themselves.  And so we turn to the people who know us best, who witnessed and likely taught us to make these lists and compare our options, soliciting perhaps unwarranted advice, so we can return to the drawing board for some definitive, action-oriented choices.  Enjoy!

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On My Obsession With Bette

Fan Letter #1 in 1985.

The real question is did I ever tell her she's my hero? And the answer is I sure did, in one of those fan letters I wrote in 1985 (see blog bio, which I think I've told some of you before and, besides, one can never write about Bette too much).  And darn right she wrote back, too, with a signed 8x10  black & white photograph framed by my bedside for the better part of the late 80s.  So when she surprised us on Oscar night with the song that prompted my (and/or our) obsession in the first place, I was immediately transported back to my primitive years of lip syncing the incorrect lyrics since who can really tell the difference between "wings" and "feet" when you're a mere five-years-old?  Oh, Bette, how I (still) worship you, plastic face and lungs to transfix a five and (eventual) thirty-five-year-old alike! Enjoy!

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On Marrying Smart

An Obvious Decision.

When you know, you know.  The decision to be with someone for the rest of your life isn't one to take lightly but it also shouldn't torture you until 3am on a Friday night. While the reality of decades together won't realistically mirror the fantasies behind the decision to settle down, (in my humble opinion) there exists an ease and comfort in the choice of whom you're willing to take on this adventure with.  And if you're hesitating for even a millisecond (or ten), take heed in your own apprehension, spend a weekend sobbing over rom coms and ice cream, and move on sooner than later.  Enjoy!

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On My Own Digital Diet

Staying Focused.

Even when face-to-face with Detectives Cohle and Hart (True Detective, for those of you late to the game), drooling over chiseled cheekbones and philosophical rants, I've got one hand on my cell phone, half-convinced that something more important will inevitably disrupt the next 56 minutes at the expense of actually following along.  But the reality is nothing will disrupt since the majority of friends (east coast and Colorado alike) are glued to the same gruesome storyline, mourning the brevity of this newly-addicting series, wondering how delusional Matthew's character would have to become to make him unappealing while marveling over Woody's astronomical transformation from Cheers.  And, so, I recently vowed that the phone now takes a back seat (down the hall in another room) while my attention span re-prioritizes its focus on what's most important: the immortal friendship of Marty and Rust. Enjoy!

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On the First Kiss

(Seriously, Watch This Video.)

awkward
passionate
kind
unexpected.

Some of us almost never forget that first kiss, through a haze of wine and spontaneity, the pressure for compatibility-in this moment and, also, over a lifetime-mixed with anticipation and apprehension for what can and might be.

For others, this kiss is nothing more-two sets of lips locked briefly in a union too simplistic for philosophical analysis and perfect just for what it is.

(Enjoy.)

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On Silencing Our Phones

Voicemail Much Preferred.

We don't even bat our eyelashes anymore when, on the rare occasion of actually calling a friend on our cells, the ringtone goes straight to voicemail (after less than half a dial) to signal that, in fact, there is a person making the deliberate decision not to speak with us.  But since we all do it all of the time we can't really blame them and, besides, we don't seriously want them to answer anyway.  We called and that's all that matters, and we probably won't do again for, say, at least another six months. But at least we can boast over the next dinner party or happy hour that we're one up on the uneven scale of initiating contact, and that it's their turn to reach out, and, by the way, we probably won't answer because why would we ever want do that? Enjoy!

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On Being Over Winter

 Enough Already.

There comes a point in ever winter season when the below freezing temperatures and necessary layers become tiresome and old.  Springtime teases us with rare but welcomed 50-degree afternoons where sunshine showers our newly naked legs and flip flops tear into our untarnished toes.  And before we know it, blooming parks are sprinkled with unwanted snowflakes one last time as we eagerly anticipate retiring our mittens and gloves for too many months to count...starting tomorrow.  Enjoy! 

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On Ten Lessons From This Decade

(Our 30s Thus Far.)

1. Shutting down weekend plans before or by 11pm is definitely socially acceptable.

2. Birthday cards instead of gifts are a welcomed annual recognition.

3. Eye creams (whether they actually work are not) are a new necessity in our daily morning routine.

4. Reruns of Dawson's Creek makes us feel old.

5. When referring to 80s sitcom characters, like Alf and Mr. Belvedere, blank stares are received from coworkers born in [gasp] the 90s.

6. Dinner parties may (or may not) include babies.

7. Facebook feeds are overrun by gory (in)appropriate details from the delivery room.

8. Movies like "This is 40" appeal to our humor but also make us nervous.

9. Two drink maximum instead of minimum so as not to ruin Sunday morning errands.

10. Cleaning the house (or apartment) (or garage) feels like a great accomplishment.

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On Moving Cross Country

In the Name of Love.

The first five minutes of our relocation to Denver, Colorado are as clear as if they were yesterday.  Sitting outside the airport "departure" section (because it's less crowded than the "arrivals" floor) waiting for our ride, the August sun was immediately hotter (and a mile closer) than New York's.  The Rocky Mountains, my then-boyfriend (now husband) explained, were on the other side of the terminal, reassuring me that one of the main factors in convincing me to relocate hadn't actually been a myth.  It was quiet and serene-a far cry from the one City I knew best-and then he said something like, So we're here now, because in moments like those you don't totally grasp the magnitude of what is actually happening.  And we were, with many unknowns ahead coupled with the excitement and anticipation that however this new adventure panned out, we would (likely) have it together and, in some ways, that's all that really mattered.  Enjoy!     

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On My (Independent) Film Recommendations

Real Life On Screen.

It's the slice-of-life films I adore most, depicting the bitterness of reality in a harsh yet semi-realistic way. Characters flounders, jobs are lost, hearts broken in a ruthless, dismissive, no-nonsense manners.  Relationships are destroyed, mended, and eventually dissipate or succeed based on life changes, crossed paths, and/or the inevitable flawed nature of the players involved.  We watch our own lives unfold through fictional depictions wondering whether we’ll make the same or different choices, and if our outcome will unfold with as much on-screen appeal as the faces looking back.  Enjoy!

Post Scriptum: Some of my favorites (trailers included, all but one without advertising) not in any particular order, and (btw) feel free to add to this list:

Kicking & Screaming (1995)
You Can Count On Me
You, Me, & Everyone We Know
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
This is 40
The Squid and the Whale
All the Real Girls
Away We Go
Blue Valentine
Junebug
Freaks & Geeks (*television)
My So-Called Life (*television)
Dawson's Creek (sorry, I had to!)
Waitress
Somewhere
Lost in Translation
Wonderland
Take This Waltz
Broken Flowers
Greenberg
Half Nelson
Motorcycle Diaries

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On Dreading the Gym

Dread-mill Anxiety.

After running my first (and only) half-marathon less than a year ago, and then immediately vowing it would be the beginning of many, I nearly quit exercising altogether.  Our wedding came and went, the winter arrived, and now-knee deep in inconsistently frigid temperatures and multi-layered winter wardrobes just to get to and from my day job-what once seemed an endlessness of great health and elevated-heartrate-possibility became the often-dreaded obligation of a lifetime. Excuses came and went, cute cold-weather gym clothes abandoned, and my own resting heart rate took a back seat in the very last row.  And then I did it: I rejoined the local gym (ahem) two days ago.  I'm two for two this week, boasting on social media as an exerciser-in-want-of-accolades often does, as I painstaking compare myself to the 19-year-olds who attend the coinciding university while I catch my breath to stay afloat the treadmill, and quickly remind myself that while a life without exercise is easy to embrace, the pros significantly outweigh the cons, and it doesn't take much to find that inspiration to over-commit and reignite the impossible...as long as I don't think I'll ever be twenty again. Enjoy!

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On Celebrity Dopplegangers

Going Public.

As a camp counselor in the mid to late 90s, my favorite icebreaker was having newly-arrived adolescent campers share which celebrities they'd been told they resembled since, more often than not, we all have one or more on-screen dopplegangers out there.  I, of course, was only slightly less-than-embarrassed to admit how often I'd been compared to an unnamed star well-known for his foot-loose moves and narrow cheekbones (-my own jawline quite pronounced at the time).  And my list doesn't end there, of course, with the myriad of large forehead-ed stars (*see baby photo to the left), including Reese Witherspoon and Keri Russell, which would have made my universe had these designations been based on more complimentary features.  But we are who we are and, regardless of how these associations came to stick, reruns of these very faces on 80s blockbusters and 90s dramas bring back the fondest of memories in spite of awkward-looking characteristics we all came to-and likely still-adore.  Enjoy!

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On Other People's Flaws

A facade of Perfection.

As we float through this world looking for and (hopefully finding) true love, we're initially so quick to point out other people's flaws no matter how miniscule, from syntax to size, yet rarely reflect on the imperfections of our own kingdom of craze.  Cringing at deal-breakers that may or may not carry the weight they've (un)fairly been assigned, finding the perfect match is as much about aligning theirs cons with our pros as it is about the reverse.  Enjoy!

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