On(stage)

"The Public Introvert."

Eight months ago, during my first week at my (then) new job, I was quietly approached by my friendly supervisor with several upcoming dates during which I was expected to publicly present to sizable audiences ranging from thirty to fifty people on topics related to my position.  Immediately, my stomach sank. And as my heart began pounding louder than any coherant response I might have come up with in that moment, I bit my lip, held back my tears, half-smiled, and tacitly fought my sudden inclination to quit my job after less than thirteen days.  You see, while I am an extrovert (translation: can speak with ease in large groups of people; not shy; sometimes verbose; and almost always comfortable meeting new faces),  I'm terrified of public speaking.  So terrified, in fact, that I have avoided public speaking at all costs, against the better judgment of graduate school mentors and classmates, and spent the entirety of my five years in my masters program volunteering myself as the "behind the scenes" tech person.  With the dreaded dates on my calendar, I did the only thing I could think of: I joined Toastmasters.  And so began my (uphill) journey to become a less fearful public speaker, with the newfound realization that while we may never completely eliminate our anxiety of the world's greatest fear, it is not only possible to become better than we imagine, we may even become great some day.  Enjoy!   

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